Doesn’t look too bad from the back right? I mean, you can tell there’s something a little bit weird about the neckline, but it could just be the way I’m standing, a trick of the light, something non-fatal to the awesomeness of the sweater right? Wrong.
What the hell sweater! How can that be your neckline. What are you from the 80s? You think it’s cool to be all off-the-shoulder? Well it’s not the 80s and that’s not cool! You’re a #$%^*@! sweater. You should cover me and keep me warm. Now I know that I altered you heavily, but really all I did was shape the lower body–under the armpits–to bring it around so it can close in the front. I love this sweater from the armpits down. The neckline is unacceptable.
Now that I’m finished with this sweater I realize why the neckline is so dumbass. Because the back is one giant rectangle. It is in no way shaped to account for the shoulders. SHOULDERS! Everyone has them. It’s dumbass not to account for them. The sweater needs a yoke. It is impossible to give this sweater a yoke if you knit the back as written. I would have to take the sweater all the way back to a giant pile of yarn and completely write my own pattern to create something I wanted to wear. Le Sigh.
I always forget that even if some pictures look OK, you have to keep in mind that mostly people are posing for pictures and maybe they’re trying really hard to hide the dumbass aspects. Well with the above photos I have done my best to show you exactly what sucks about this sweater.
The leaves on the sleeves are cute, but they can’t really compensate for the lameness. I love the yarn, but I don’t think I can stand to frog the whole sweater just to get the yarn back. Anyone want an ugly sweater?